The Sculptor
by wabisabi1
Summary: We'd imagined what Middle Earth was like, we'd even wanted to be there a bit. But we were thinking of situations where everything was perfect and we were cool. Unfortunately; we're not cool. There were a lot of issues, like selective memory loss and the fates of three people on one person. Also there was the whole falling in love thing that caused a lot of additional embarrassment.


**RE – I own nothing but my OCs. The rest belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien and the people involved in producing the films based off of his works.**

**Rated T – for language, descriptive violence, crude humor and steamy (but not too steamy) stuff.**

**The Hobbit Fanfiction – AU – Romance, Friendship, Humor and Adventure**

**[A/N]**

_Loads of love coming from me here, writing my authors note (duh). _

_Anyways, I want to thank you for reading my fanfiction, I also want to say thank you for reading what I have to say as the author of this fic. It actually means a lot, and even though I can't blame anyone for skipping on to the better bits – I'm not __that__bad… unless it's the morning or I haven't eaten in the past five minutes._

_Okay, I'm rambling, let me get straight to the few points I'd like to make before you start this fic._

_1 – If you haven't noticed it yet, this is __**rated T**__. I really don't want to have any problems between myself and readers so, just to expand. There's a lot of cursing. There's a lot of crude humor and if that's not your pot of tea __**please**__don't read this. There's descriptive violence, but that should be expected when you're writing a 'The Hobbit' fanfiction. There's romance but I don't feel comfortable writing anything sexual, so there'll be nothing of that here._

_2 – Okay, so into more enjoyable stuff. This fanfiction has two OCs called Kiera and Fleur and it's an OCxKili and an OCxFili. It's actually a mix of a slow burn and a not-slow burn._

_3 – I am writing this with a lot of input from my best friend Carrie (claps for Carrie-dear) and we've planned really far ahead. Carrie's going to draw the cover pic for this, only I'm not sure when that's going up or how soon it's going up. Anyways, we've worked very hard on this fanfiction and, to be blunt (Which I am very), I have a very low tolerance for rude comments. Constructive criticism is __**always**__welcome, and as someone who's blunt by nature, I can take bluntness, but I don't take rudeness._

**Chapter 1: It all went out the window.**

**[Kiera]**

Fleur and I had wanted an adventure, we really had. But we had imagined something a little different, like your average 'you get what you wish for' scenario that you always see in films.

Living in Ireland gave us luck, not to mention Fleur was half Irish – you know, 'the luck of the Irish' – and we were satisfied and successful at the age of 22. And you can ask any 22 year old, that's rare. It started with me becoming an actress after my childhood had been spent dreaming of such a job, and half of my adulthood had been spent assuming it was never going to happen. And for Fleur, after eight years of law school she became a well known and accomplished… _artist_ – which had been her dream – when she'd failed several art school entrance exams in the past. So, we had been lucky in our college years, but unfortunately our luck ran out right about when we started to get restless. Our restlessness caused a lot, _a lot _of wishful thinking and this wishful thinking led us to getting an adventure that was precisely _opposite _and _identical _to all we had wished for.

We had both loved the J.R.R. Tolkien novels, you know, _The Hobbit,_ _The Lord of the Rings _trilogy, _The Silmarillion _and all of the other Tolkien works of art. We had been elated when the films for _The Lord of the Rings_ and _The Hobbit_ had come out and we'd even gone to the cinema to watch them together. We had _sobbed _in all of them and we had no regrets – or at least I didn't. Anyways, I won't lie, we had both imagined what it'd be like to end up in the middle of Middle Earth… we'd even _wanted _it a bit. But when we wanted it, we were thinking about situations where we were talented, graceful individuals and everything turned out perfectly.

Unfortunately, nothing _close _to this happened and everything went to shit.

And how did this all begin? Well, it all began with a mistake as most (not many) adventures do – and it was Fleurs fault.

I had been trying to sleep.

Fleur had left the window open for the umpteenth time, and I was left freezing my ass off whilst trying (and failing) to get warm under my blankets, "Fleur?!" I hissed through gritted teeth.

There was a loud and abrupt snort before the room went back to the still and leisurely quiet it had been moments ago, "_Fleur!"_

That woman was a light sleeper unless it was a moment in which I needed her to do something for me. Then she was deaf.

Even as I was lying in bed, I wasn't warm, but to slide out of bed would be to face the horror of a cold that would make my eyes prickle with tears and send my skin shriveling (yes, I am exaggerating, get used to it). A task to get up and close the window may seem easy to you, dear reader, but to me; a woman that has spent her life living in the Caribbean and in the state of California… it was an immeasurably daunting nightmare (which was ironic considering what was to come ahead).

"_Fleur!"_

There was no answer and I began to steel myself for the two meter journey I'd have to take to close the window… _maybe I can reach it._

I glanced to the window which seemed close enough by my standards and reached for it, whimpering when my blanket slid off of my shoulders and the cold pricked my skin. My hand seemed to shrivel (or perhaps it was already shriveled) in the moonlight that came in through the window as my lithe (chubby) torso lifted off of the bed to further my reach to the window.

Unfortunately I had somehow forgotten how small (miniature) I was and fell (collapsed) off of the bed and onto the floor, letting out a yelp (howl) - which somehow didn't wake Fleur. Getting to my feet, I stumbled over to the window… only to find myself tripping over an unknown object and falling right through it.

As I said; _Fleurs _fault.

When I came to, my head hurt so badly I was convinced someone was inside it and was desperately trying to get _outside _of it.

"Ooooh… eugh," I said aloud in the graceful and flowing speech of someone who spent her time writing haiku, poems and scripts – top notch sarcasm. Although, yes, I do write a lot of poems and haiku. Don't judge, you might find it boring but it makes me feel sophisticated.

I had not been planning to open my eyes until I realized that someone was laughing. _I should probably open my eyes… what happened – did I get drunk?_

Opening one of them, I rolled over to avoid an eyeful of pillow before glancing around me, _what the hell? _I definitely _wasn't _home.

I was lying on a cream colored linen blanketed bed that smelled of flowers and mint – my blankest were plaid and smelled of… blankets. My brow furrowed suddenly and I sat up abruptly, my eyes scanning the area around me and taking in the unfamiliar surroundings, _what the __hell_ _was going on?_

The room around me was circular, and despite my confusion at its unfamiliarity, I couldn't deny that it was beautiful with what looked like painted wood walls and a white marbled floor. The ceiling caved downwards slightly with deep and shallow groves in a perfectly symmetrically curved design. The light that shone through came from a wide open balcony that had two glass doors which were flung open wide. A pair of lilting smooth curtains shifted peacefully in the light breeze that flowed through the room and I slid out of bed. I was given quite a shock.

Instead of the pair of plaid trousers and navy spaghetti strap top I had worn when I had gone to bed, I was dressed in a thin dressing gown that fell down to my feet. It was weirdly decorated with soft patterns in its silk and… flowers. I didn't wear things with flowers. _Who re-dressed me? I'm gonna kill them… they must've gotten a scare, it's what comes of undressing a girl on her period. _To make things even more confusing, I had either shrank (even more) or the people who had built this room had been very tall, "what the hell?" I asked myself aloud. At least I was still black (actually my skin tone was a terribly abhorrent color that looked like fake tan gone wrong) and undeniably sexy (half asleep with morning breath).

Once again, there was a sound of laughter and I took small steps to the balcony, biting harshly at my bottom lip in confusion. When I reached the balcony, I placed my hands on the cool banister, jumped back because it was cold, and almost fell over because… I'm just clumsy like that. Then I daintily and gracefully (clumsily and awkwardly) stood straight again and peered over the balcony, whereupon doing that, I was struck with a flurry of different feelings; Disbelief, anger, confusion, and hysteria. And further hunger.

_Okay, so I shrank. Okay so that looks a whole lot like an elf. And okay so I'm wearing flowers. Now, bigger problems, I'm _hella _hungry._

…_wait, where the hell am I?!_

**[Fleur]**

_It's okay, it's okay, maybe he just wants to give you a hug_, that was the thought that was flowing through my head as I sprinted away from what seemed to be a bear. If you're wondering why I say _seemed _to be a bear, well, that might have to do with the fact that it was terribly oversized. I mean, it could've been a Yeti for all I knew. Although Yeti's _were _white. Kiera would have known what to do in this instance, she had grown up in Sacramento. They had bears in Sacramento right?

Actually… maybe no, maybe they didn't have bears in Sacramento. Although, I wasn't a wildlife expert. Any-who, I was pretty certain it was a poop colored Yeti so she _definitely_ wouldn't know what to do.

The forest I had awakened in was a massive canopy of tangled pines and some other tree that had lilting willow like branches. The floor was a mess of branches, tree stumps and rotten leaves. It was a miracle I hadn't fallen yet. There was a loud roar from behind me, reminding me of what exactly I was running from.

Fear was painted on my face and I let out a yelp as I leapt over a tree stump. My feet slammed into the ground and my breath was tight in my throat as I was bluntly reminded of why I should exercise on a more common basis. Of course the image of Dory chanting, _'__Just keep swimming, just keep swimming'_ wasn't entirely helpful either, not to mention that if I tried to pull my attention from the blue fish, I was met with; _'__run Forest! Run!'_

_I'm gonna die, a bear's going to eat me in the middle of nowhere and people are going to find my bones. Actually… they'll find __parts_ _of my bones._

That was the _optimistic _outlook.

It was in that moment that the bear let out a roar of pain and I found the sound of its footsteps behind me gone. I chose _not _to pay attention because the thing was still roaring, and instead, I continued my sprint whilst trying to avoid exhuming my guts along with the air that whooshed out of my lungs.

And then suddenly I was flying in the air, a rope squeezing my legs uncomfortably as I attempted to move, _wait, what's happening!? What's… oh._

I was caught in a bear trap. I'm sure they have a much more sophisticated name but I don't know it. I'm talking about one of those nets that catch unsuspecting victims and send them flying in the air. Not only was the trap severely uncomfortable, but it was suspiciously damp, and it smelled like seaweed.

_So that's what had happened to the bear_, I glanced to him and found him only twenty meters away with a brutal snarl on his face, "you should see a psychologist," I jibed. He didn't seem to find it funny and responded with a low guttural growl.

It took three hours for _anything _to happen, the whole time the bear was growling lowly as he glared in my direction. If I so much as glanced in his, he'd roar and scare the piss – not literally (almost literally) – out of me. Like a normal human being, I would flip him off – before screeching when he tried lunging at me – and then promptly ignore him.

It was the sound of cracking wood that alerted me of someone coming near and I jerked around in my roped prison, yelping at the rope burns that were now littered at my side. _Typical_.

The man that stepped out of the foliage below us was tall, very tall, and very handsome. I was tempted to catcall down to him, but considering that I was the person stuck in a net, well, I was going to kiss ass for the moment being. Also, I have more self-control than that, thank you very much.

Well, Debatably.

Anyway, the man was immensely tall with tanned skin and a muscular figure packed under ratty and dirty clothing. He was probably in his late thirties with a nicked scar in his right eyebrow and a harsh look in the pair of his electric blue eyes. His hair was dark brown and hung to his chin, tangled and matted in ways that I didn't even know was possible, it made him look… _very _homeless. His patchy, short beard didn't help, but the fact that his face was daunting made me decide that he was an attractive, grouchy homeless person.

Then I realized I was being judgy and decided to try and make a good introduction – which is hard for me.

Of course, there are other things on my mind other than how men look and I was trying to figure out: where I was and who was this guy? He was dressed in relatively dark clothing made out of an odd fabric. This was other than the fur that hung over both of his shoulders in a crude attempt at a scarf. He wore a lot of layers and this was particularly odd in consideration that it wasn't particularly cold. I mean, I was dressed in brown (formerly white) pajama bottoms and a thin black long sleeved shirt so, not _that _cold.

Oh, right, the hot guy.

Mr. Attractive was looking up at me, a beautiful eyebrow raised in complete confusion as his sharp blue gaze shot between myself and the bear. It was _meant _to be my moment of a good impression but, well, I don't really _do _good impressions, "hey… _Hey Mister!_"

The guy had been staring at Winnie the pooh who was snarling up a storm but at my call, Mr. Attractive's head swiveled in my direction and grew increasingly unimpressed, "get me the hell down!"

He snorted before shaking his head as if I had just asked something stupid, and pulled an arrow out of his quiver. Oh, did I mention he had a bow and arrow? His bow was huge, his arrows were thick and he was aiming them at the bear, "kill the thing later!" I yelled in annoyance. I loved animals, and sure, Winnie the Pooh was slightly cute when he wasn't roaring at me – but he'd been growling at me so we weren't exactly buddies, "get me _down_."

The bear let out a loud snarl as the arrow connected with… the net. _The net?!_

I watched as my only possible savior got eaten by the bear. There was blood everywhere, it was a gory mess.

That's a lie, that never happened. _Cheers for my great imagination!_

Instead the bear roared horribly at me, made kissy lips at the man, and lumbered off into the forest. I stared in placid shock for approximately fifteen seconds before it occurred to me that Mr. Attractive was walking away from me, "hey… _Hey! _Wait, stop! Get me down from here!"

The man turned very gracefully and then; abruptly, and elegantly… flipped me off.

_Dick._

I watched as Mr. Attractive left me, letting out a wail of frustration before kicking my legs which hung out of the trap. There was no response and I let out another howl and tried to continue breathing through my mouth – that net really _really _smelled bad.

As the day grew to a close and I had time to dwell on my thoughts. I came to a few conclusions.

Firstly, I was no longer in Dublin. The forests around me were too dry and wild to be anywhere in Ireland, plus the daytime had been to warm to be Ireland… oh, I figured out why the guy wore so many layers. At night it was freezing.

I'm talking about a proper fucking layer of frost on the ground, I mean, seriously. Where the hell had my luck gone?

Secondly, Mr. Attractive was a bastard.

Thirdly, the last thing I remembered was falling out of a window, so could this be heaven? I wasn't a heaven believing person but like… who knew. Any-who, if this was heaven, it was shite.

I love how I just assumed that I would go to heaven, I mean, considering all of the things I've done, it was adorable that I thought that, it really was.

Fourthly, I was a little different. My ears had turned sharp, and I'm not saying I was suddenly good at hearing because I _am _good at hearing… I just daydream a lot.

Any-who, the _tips _of my ears had curved into a sharp point. It was still fleshy and cartilage but… they were pointed. I was practically hysterical when I found that out. I mean, I started screeching in the rope bag like a madman. Me. Alone. In the forest. Screeching like a hooligan. I sounded like R2-D2 dying in those Lego Star Wars games. Any-who, in addition to my change in ear shape, as I looked around, I came to the conclusion that I had either shrank or the world had gotten way bigger. The trees were just _huge._ Not to mention that guy who had been like eight feet tall, or the bear that had been terrifyingly huge. Eh… yeah, something was very weird.

So, as I sat in the tree and pondered, I desperately tried not to freeze. I pulled my legs (after a lot of maneuvering) back into the rope ball sack (I'm sorry, I had to). I pulled my top over my legs – don't judge – and I shivered. _I __hate__this guy_, it was what I decided when the sun had dipped completely below the horizon but there was still a spark of light above me. I wanted to lean my head on the rope and maybe get some sleep, because, I don't know, maybe I'd wake up somewhere else – plus it was night. But I was a little deterred by the strong smell of seaweed rising off of the rope.

Talking of Mr. 'I'm an attractive dick'. There he was, he was standing at the very edge of the clearing – or at least I _thought _it was him because I couldn't actually see him due to how dark it had become, "hey… _hey! _Get me the fuck down from here, you overgrown prick!" I yelled over to him, "you know bystanders are just as much to blame?!"

I know, it was weak. Kiera would be shaking her head in shame – actually considering I was stuck in a net that smelled of sea weed, she'd be backing away very slowly, pretending she had no idea who I was.

Speaking about Kiera… where was she? Because she hadn't been in her bed when I had woken up to close the window, was she freaking out because I wasn't at home? Nah, she probably thought I went out early to get to the theatre on time.

I worked as an artist on Theatre Sets by the way, a cool job, really cool actually. I'd get free tickets and stuff to the cinema to watch the films.

Sorry, I tend to ramble.

After yelling several abnormally rude statements, the man raised his bow and I fell ten feet and gracefully face planted in the dirt, "get up woman, I don't have all day," the man snapped to me, his arms crossing stubbornly as he stared down, down and down at me. I was once again reminded that I was suddenly _not _the average height of 5'7' and very possibly the essence of _short_.

I got to my feet and looked at him in blatant confusion, "_what?!"_

He raised an attractive eyebrow, giving me a blatant unimpressed look and grabbing my right bicep to drag me forwards. I let out a growl of annoyance, suddenly yanking my arm away from him, "let _go_, no touching, you dirt bag," I snapped, rubbing a hand over what could possibly be a future bruised arm.

"Cunt," I announced to him, taking a step of fear backwards when he backtracked towards me threateningly, his eyes fixed on my face. He smirked at the look on my face (which was one of fear) before turning and leaving me behind, "this better not bruise," I called, raising my voice to make sure he'd heard.

"Keep up woman," he told me, not even sparing me one glance.

I followed him, my bruised pride trailing miserably after me, "…still a cunt."

It the occurred to me that I had absolutely no idea _who _I was following and _why _I was following him. I mean, the guy could be a serial killer for all I knew.

Stopping abruptly in my tracks, I furrowed my brow, what was I meant to do? I could follow Mr. Attractive, the guy that had left me in a bear trap for a day – or I could go off on my own.

If I went off on my own, I could avoid the obviously rude, strange speaking, weirdly attractive giant. In addition, I'd avoid future bruised arms. Then again, I had the possibility of getting frostbite, being attacked by Pooh-Bear (again) and being eaten to death by some insect. And even if I _didn't _die, I'd die after awhile because my camping skills were completely lacking.

But then again, if I went with Mr. Attractive he'd probably kill me, chop me up into little piece and hang my remains up on a tree. Or, if I was lucky, he'd lead me to the nearest phone and let me call Kiera so she could pick me up. Or, he'd at least lead me to the nearest hotel so I could spend the night. And he'd leave money with me.

Admittedly, _all _of this was very unlikely.

I heard a loud roar and practically jumped out of my skin, shit, Pooh-Bear. _Where did Mr. Attractive get off to?_

It was then that I was gripped by the arm again and I realized that Mr. Attractive had been glaring at me for the past five minutes while I had been thinking about what I was going to do.

_Sorry not sorry._

"Hurry up woman!" the man snapped in a tone that sounded very rude.

"I have no idea what the fuck you just… hands off, man! What is it with you and touching me?! I know I'm a looker but…"

The man sent me an evil look, almost as if he knew exactly what I was saying, "shut the _hell up_."

I yanked my arm out of his grip and followed him – but not after flipping him off.

We walked no more than fifteen minutes and by the time the walk was over, I couldn't feel my fingers. The cold pricked painfully at my toes and I couldn't speak clearly due to the amount of shivering I was doing.

Mr. Attractive looked annoyingly amused.

We reached a small shack guarded by what seemed to be an overly friendly dog that took a little sniff at me and went careening away. It suddenly occurred to me that I smelled entirely of sea weed. _Gross_.

This wasn't funny.

I was a genuinely optimistic person, but my optimism was wilting rapidly. I had rope burns all over my legs and hips that scratched painfully against my clothes. Those clothes smelled like seaweed; _seaweed_. I was freezing and my fingers were numb. Not to mention I was bruised _everywhere _due to the fact that I had fallen fifteen feet from a tree. My ankles and wrists ached painfully with every step. Talking about that glorious fall, I had leaves _everywhere_. It was in this moment, that to add to problems, my stomach started growling. _Oh for the love of…_

I wanted to cry. Desperation, frustration and sudden hunger welled up in me like a wave and I was so happy to have an 'inside' to be going to. _Please be warm, __please__be warm._

I was shivering as I followed the man towards the house but he held out a hand to me, plainly telling me to stop. I was just at the patio, just a few more steps and I'd be inside and at that moment, in my mind, anything was better than outside. _Shit_.

Glaring, I watched as he entered the shack and warm air came whooshing out at me. Was he going to leave me here? He wouldn't _dare _to leave me here at this point, I was _freezing_ my ass off while he was dressed from head to toe in warm looking clothing. Not to mention I could just barely feel the touch of warmth from the shack and it was tempting me. That was just bad hospitality.

I stamped my foot aggressively on the ground and let out a low growl of frustration as I glanced around, my patience dimming rapidly. The fact that my growl was answered with another growl was not comforting.

Glancing around, I hugged my arms closer to my frame and glanced to the sky, letting out a moan. Then, some _idiot_, threw water at me.

It went _everywhere. _Although I suppose that was the general point – but still, not encouraging my positivity, _at all_.

It fell over my head and down my shoulders in a freezing wave of pain, I let out a screech and took a step back, almost collapsing due to the sudden dip in temperature. Even when it was done, the droplets that leaked down my face and off my hair kept sending me to a whole other level of shivering, "what the _fuck_?!" I screamed at the man who had dumped the bucket on me.

He seemed neither apologetic, nor amused as he had been before, he simply watched me as I glared at him, "that is _beyond_ rude! I'm serious, you dicktip, haven't you heard what fucking hospitality is?!"

I wasn't frustrated now, I was furious. All fear and desperation were gone to make way for a blood red fury, "if you wanted me to _clean _myself, couldn't you have let me use a shower or at least… at least _given _me the bucket?! What the hell is _wrong _with you, you _cunt_!"

The man tossed the bucket to the side, "they have no showers here," he said in English.

I took a step backwards, my anger gone suddenly with the newfound shock that he could speak English. It was back in only a few seconds, "since _when _have you been able to fucking speak English?!"

He gave me a look, up and down before scoffing and turning to leave me. I stared in shock at his retreating form, "what the hell! Turn the fuck around! You can't just ignore me!"

He glanced around at me, "you coming?"

I let my hands flop to the side, in shock and fury as he continued onto the porch and into the shack, shutting the door behind him. Glancing around, I crossed my arms again, my shivering starting up again after the fury had worn off to blatant skepticism, shock and frustration. I found myself following him back into the shack, opening the door and allowing the dog to slip in front of me.

The shack was a small place, cozy and warm with a floor of pelts and hides. There wasn't much to it, a wrinkled and worn couch, a bed of furs, a warm crackling hearth and a small kitchen. The man who was in the corner of the kitchen and holding a dead fish over what was a makeshift sink (it was a bucket), glanced back at me, "take off your… shoes," he said, looking down at my penguin slippers. I now felt self-concious. "I don't need you trailing mud inside."

He had a deep and thick Welsh accent that made him a bit hard to understand, "are we in Wales?" I asked slightly sullenly while peeling my soggy slippers off.

At the same time, I wanted to laugh at the fact that I was asking in Wales, the question just seemed so _preposterous_. Especially to someone who had been to Wales only once in their life.

"I wish," he said bluntly before pointing in the corner, "there are cloaks in that basket, pull one over you and go sit near the fire; unless you want to freeze to death."

I gave him a strange look but grabbed a heavy looking cloak from the basket he had pointed out to me and sat as close to the fire as I could possibly get. The dog laid next to me leaning into my side and placing his head in his paws. Staring at the flames for a moment, I glanced back to the man. He ignored me.

"Where are we?"

"In my shack," he said, cutting the head off of two fish neatly before tossing them in a spare bucket. _Uuugh._

I gave him a look that clearly said 'do better than that' and he just chuckled, shaking his head, "what's your name kid?"

I shot him an evil look, "I'm not a _kid_ you _bastard_, and my name's Fleur."

He raised his head in defense, "hey, I mean no offense," he said before waving in my direction, "it's just that you look like… like you're eighteen."

"I'm twenty three thank you very much," I snapped, "Now, _where am I_?"

He grabbed a jar and pried a hunk of something pale before dropping it on a pan and making his way over to me, two fish held in his bare hand, "you… are in Middle Earth."

I watched as he collapsed nearby me, the dog in between us and propped the pan into the fire onto a tall flat stone, "Where?"

He stared at me, an eyebrow raised, "the world of Middle Earth… you know, J.R.R. Tolkien? His books, The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings?"

I narrowed my eyes, "Never heard of it."

He plopped the fish into the pan on top of what I had assumed to be some sort of lard. Then his eyebrow raised, "…huh…"

I stared at him and blinked slowly, still shivering under my cloak, "…is that _it_?"

He gave me a look, "That's it. You're only staying here until Gandalf comes, the fact that you don't know the events of The Hobbit isn't my problem."

"Who… and what? Wait… will this Gandalf guy take me home?"

He looked at me as if I was the dumbest person alive, "what? No. He's taking you with him to… ah, shit, I can't tell you. There's probably a reason why you don't know anything about the books."

"Wha… whatever, when will I be going home?" I asked.

He flicked at one of the fish with a stick, "you're not going home."

I stared. And stared. And stared. And stared.

Finally he looked back at me, "what the fuck are you looking at _me _for?"

"What do you mean I'm not going home? You can't just say something like that to someone and just… _leave it at that_!" I snapped.

"Well, get fucking used to it because you're _not going home_," he replied coolly, "and don't you dare blame me."

I continued to stare until he turned his head and gave me a glare as sharp as flint. Finally, I glanced back at the fire, at loss for words as the smell of cooked fish began rising, "…I don't believe you."

"I don't fucking give a shit," he retorted, "deal with that yourself. It's your problem. I just need to make sure you don't die before the Grey Wizard comes."

"The Grey _what_?!" I practically screeched.

He pinched his nose before moving his hand away on account of it smelling like fish, "the Grey Wizard, and don't ask me to explain, I don't think you'd believe me."

I gave him a cold look, "you _are _mad."

It wasn't at all a question and he knew it, but he answered it anyways, "trust me… I'm not mad, you're in Middle Earth."

"I don't know what that is… is it like a mix between the Middle East and Earth?" I asked, "…or is it just the Middle East?"

He looked at me weirdly, "you're weird ass motherfucker."

I gave him a look, "who's yer man? Uh… Gineralf?"

"It's Gandalf."

"Who's that?"

"You'll find out soon."

I faced the fire, accepting the fact that this guy was not going to talk. I was exhausted anyways, the cold water had drained all of the warmth out of me and I just wanted to sleep. Eyeing the fish, I deemed it worthy to wait for before sleeping and I crossed my legs, ready to face out a night of confusion and silence beside what seemed to be the rudest person I had ever met.

_Where the hell am I?_

**[A/N]**

_There's the first chapter, I hope you enjoyed it and I'd love for some feedback! Loads of love!_

_Also, for future reference; responses for comments will probably be posted here! Once again, thanks so much for reading!_


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